Thank you for 1000!

Today, actually this day we are in, not one in 2008, my blog has been looked at 1000 times. This entry is devoted to those readers who find my musings amusing.

I am made of all of you. You've contributed to my sense of humor, my ability to see beauty in almost everything, my sanity and my insanity, my values, my beliefs, my strength. You've nurtured my gifts, you've tolerated my flaws, you've loved me without judgement and taught me what that looks like so I can do the same for others. You give me the freedom to be who I can for each of you. You don't pressure me to be something you want. You find joy in my joy, and I am so very pleased when your dreams are flourishing.  We are independently dependant co-creators. I am in love with everything I learn from you. Thank you for letting me be the stew of you and for allowing me the greatest privilege of adding to your brew. Here's to you:

August 22, 2008 - Squirrels & Sisters

What a change is here. I am saved over and over from getting too lost again. Saved by squirrel highways, sisters, fat birds, and crooked trees.

I am facing the me who needs to walk and look and breathe with music filling me and changing the space all around me. It seems...no, it is that the world climbs into sync to whatever I'm listening to. It's MAGIC.



I am dying, always dying, and no one will miss me because they will be filled with the source of me that will be spilling out like sunshine through the clouds.

Someday now I will dance every time the spirit moves me, and spread my arms like wings when I walk,

and sing out when I know it's time without self-consciousness because my self will be dead at last, not hiding, and my essence will be free

August 15, 2008 - Poorly Timed "Back to School" Entry

1st day of the new school year...Dana is wonderful. Of course she is...she is made of the same teachery stuff. So far I love her care, her slight awkwardness minus the self-consciousness, and her appreciation for her own nerdiness.

My favorite quote today...said by Mary-Tina after sticking her finger into the four leaf clover tattoo on Dana's neck...  "Thank you for letting me poke your shamrock."

Also, this same fantasitc day... at the Reg Weaver dinner at Mr. Benny's... Ken Wendorff says, as two bowls of veggies are being passed to him, ..."Uh oh, this is where the green beans collide."

I work with funny people. I adore them and my good fortune.

August 13, 2008 - The Four Agreements

Today I received The Four Agreements in the mail. It is a gem! Mary-Tina recommended it and I called to thank her. She teased me about earning a Doctorate in Spiritual Mysticism. I feel like an infant in my practicing. I will be impeccable with my word. I will not take anything personally. I will not make assumptions. I will always do my best. This will change everything. We are made of light.

Tomorrow I meet Dana Frazier (Comiskey?) @ Barnes and Nobles. I spent time getting my classroom ready, and now I wait at Cilantros for Marcia Garcia. By the way, Dana is my new student teacher who was sent my way via Todd DeStigter who I hope to spend time laughing with again.

Dana Marie Comiskey-Best Student Teacher Sister Friend Nutjob Joy ever.

The Board meeting will be a great opportunity for me to practice the Four Agreements. I've never been able to remain happy and present throughout one. I get all toxic inside my guts everytime I put myself at one of those meetings. If I can keep my joy there, then Mary-Tina may have a point. We'll see. It is crazy goodness how all things, all energy, seems to be working with me to find that light; the light I always knew was within me, and turn it on, again and again, until it gets stuck forever in the on position.
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To demonstrate my struggle in my own unfolding, it is four years since I wrote this entry, and I am still full of darkness and anger at Board meetings. I still take it personal when one of those misinformed, non-educators says something terrible about teachers. I still wish for terrible things to happen to a certain community member because of the way she spreads and perpetuates racism, teacher-hatred, and misplaced cliches. I still assume the majority of our Board thinks the worst of us, and although I may often try to do my best while in the same room with many of those people, that's not saying much because my best looks ugly when I am full of that cancer.  The only success I've experienced is when I read bird magazines or doodle or send silly texts to friends...which is clearly avoidance and not very present. If there is anyone who has some teachings in this direction...I would LOVE some insight!

August 7, 2008 - The Douglas Social

After a Pontoon cruise with the fam, and then a long church-walk from our rental in Douglas to downtown Saugatuck and back, Jen and I walk to the park to check out the Douglas Social. The band is bluesy and right now they sound like a groovey train. The new spot in the shade we found is cool and delicious. The breeze is sweet and constant on my slightly sunburnt arms and face. This is old school goodness, all these people enjoying a reason to gather, and it is proof that we are not as seperate as we imagine.

In the Vintage Splendor (the name of this year's family reunion rental), me, Bob, Jen, and Joe are sharing a huge bedroom that reminds me of younger us. Jen and I have been sitting up at night talking like we did when we shared a room as teenagers. I remember how much those talks filled me and refilled me. Growing up together has been a gift that I've too often taken for granted. Today I know better. No one, more than Jen, shows me what it looks like to choose joy...over and over and over...and it is beautiful.