December 23, 2009 - Stuff that Makes Me Happy

      

Last night at dinner with Bob, over a shared prime rib, I fell deeper, yet, in love with my husband. He is working so hard to get that kitchen remodeled the way he wants, but without spending too much (which is really not too much, but he worries). I calm him with reminders of how blessed we are, and how pulling from our savings to invest in our house is why we started saving more aggressively to begin with...and even if we go broke (which we won't) we would do it together and be in a great position to make more $$ on the house and go live in a condo. It all sounds okay to me, as long as we get to hang out. He agrees. We both feel safe in our love and respect for each other.

I am in love with my job right now, too. Delight in everything increases as you SHIFT. (The job is also more delightful, to be realz, because winter break started about an hour ago.) Before leaving school, I got to spend time with a student's mom. She's beautiful. We talked and talked and she reaffirmed for me that people just want to be good. We want to be good and find what makes us happy.

Stuff that makes me happy:

traveling
not being sweaty
mixed berry cobblers with vanilla ice cream
writing
being proud of and happy for my loved ones
music & walking
crossing stuff off to-do lists
time with sisters and sister-friends
Saturday Morning
reading great (albeit not always scholarly) literature
hot showers
having space
being nice to people
breezes in my hair and on my body
paying attention to my love
teaching
understanding

leaves on the water

scooter riding

creating beautiful stuff

mentoring great student teachers

sitting still & quiet

birds on a wire

thunderstorms

curls & squiggles

great coffee

dancing in kitchens

gathering with family

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What makes you happy? Are you doing enough of it?

November 7, 2009 - Maggie Day!

We walked, Maggie and I, with our iPods, and found God everywhere. Maggie saw clues to secret treasures in the sidewalk stamps. She is God's joy in motion. Constant motion. We breakfasted at Panera. We colored.  I read to her, and she read to me. We went to Target and to the park where she found friends exactly her size that called to her, "hey, little girl..." We wrote in our journals. I slept on the futon to be close to her and good thing, too. It was not long before she was pushing me off it as she snuggled in and kicked her way to 80% takeover. There are not many things worth a good night's sleep. Maggie is one of them.

July 1, 2009 - Understanding, by Design?

Day 1 of UbD workshop. UbD (Understanding by Design) is the latest acronym to solve the invented woes of our education system. I volunteered to help rewrite curriculum to reflect the UbD concept. Undertaking this futile endeavor (as we never stay with a reform idea for more than 3 years) would entail enduring 4 days of this "training." Trying to stay open and positive, I go to the workshop with a happy heart and a mind ready to learn and grow.

Ugh!! That was effing frustrating! I got so crabby because that condescending presenter kept contradicting herself as she managed to create more confusion around EVERY question anyone asked. She could not seem to explain anything so that it made any sense. Now my pain body is hovering around again because I allowed myself to become so agitated with the presenter's lack of facilitation skills and unnerving directness as she told everyone how wrong they were. A dark part of me wants to punch her face.

I have to weigh the unprofessional choice to give up on this commitment with the likelihood of my unprofessional behavior in response to that woman if I stuck it out another 3 days. I choose to not attend days 2 through 4. I am afraid of my negativity making a tough situation worse for others.

And, yes, it occurs to me that my annoyance with this woman's lack of skills may be a reflection of a similar deficit in myself as teacher. Oh, how I hate to look at my own ugly. Many times, when I am not as prepared and intentional as I could be, my lessons come out sloppy and unclear. My students are not shy about telling me this, and instead of taking it personal (as I usually do), I can be learning how to facilitate in a way that allows for lower levels of frustration and higher understanding. I can see, now, how I might be making learners uncomfortable. I will focus more on my own presentation style. That's awful to sit through, and I hate to think I torture my students that way.

That is my Understanding...by Design? Oh, you clever universe.

Student changed the title. I kind of agree. Except he did not use a comma between the two adjectives.

June 22, 2009 - Intentional Consciousness

I sit in the children's area of the radiology waiting room while mom gets her upper fistula cleared. Two young boys argue on the floor while their pig-tailed sister dances around them desperately. Oldest brother is in charge and he sits with head in hand trying to make it all go away with a magazine. Another, with a jet-black pixie and almond eyes, finally becomes content, slumps on her mother's lap, and succombs to the magic in her bottle. In the back ground, for added amusement, a cheesily acted soap opera plays out with no one caring, and behind that (and 3x's as loud) an alarm bell begs and whines for attention for at least 15 minutes. My lower self tries to become annoyed, to become a victim of this circumstance. I choose, instead, to employ an iPod remedy, to observe with curious joy, and I make friends with it all in this little notebook.