January 8, 2009 - Chuck's Southern Comfort Cafe

It is 6 p.m.-ish at Chuck's Southern Comfort Cafe - a discovery from PBS's "Check Please."

The stew is strange but good. The crab cakes are very nice. The company (my love) is the best part so far... although we are waiting for dessert. We will see if he holds up.
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Dessert was mixed berry cobbler with vanilla ice cream. Bob didn't stand a chance. Wow-wah-wee-wah!

January 5, 2009 - Standing in the River

I started the pledge of success with my students. It needs work.

I'm feeling especially worthless as an English teacher today. My views and values are in flux - it's all a flowing stream, and I can't grab it and hold it. It is ridiculous for me to try, yet I'm feeling bad inside because I can't get ahold.

Can I just learn to let it all slide through my fingers and run around me and be satisfied? Can I enjoy how refreshing that is? and how beautiful it is to be standing, raw, in the middle of it? having the slightest influence on the direction of that flow? Yes. Now I can. Awareness is magic.

November 7, 2008 - Challenges, Small Heartbreaks, and Scoops

41 degrees. Rainy but pretty.

Ruby wants to quit school. That news hurt worse than I would have guessed. I had a weird crying-in-front-of-Mr. Surina-moment when I walked her back to chemistry class.

Max, Cody, and Dana's sister Sarah joined us at school today. The boys read a story and I was amazed at their reading ease and capacity for understanding stuff my sophomores struggle with. They also learned to serf the net with Google. They looked up images of sea turtles, sharks, lions, tigers, and a host of other strange and wonderful sea and land creatures. They called it "logging on to" whatever page they discovered. "Dude, I'm logging on to tigers." "No, log on to penguins, you have to see this." "Aunt Gina, can we come back here another day to log on to stuff?" It was scoops-adorable!

The dead mouse is still in the return vent in my classroom. This is day 3 of rotting animal corpse smell. The maintenance guy tells me it cannot be removed, and that it will stop smelling in a week or so. He called that "good news." I'm still trying to see it that way.

We all sit now at Aurelios waiting for our pizza and salad. Dana is taking great care of us. The whole place smells like God.

November 1, 2008 - At the Speech Tournament

I just saw a little speechie's face burst with joy over the shape of a pretzel.

Later- Wow, Shaniece's speech was about the importance and beauty of, and necessity for SILENCE...about the forgetting to be silent. She is a beautiful poet being born in that precious space.

Even later- Zack sends me a text picture of Heather's hand with an engagement ring shining proudly on her ring finger with the message "she said yes!!"

How many joys can pile into this day?

All of them.

October 28, 2008 - The Greatest Show on Earth

Two weeks ago Jen, Susan, Kathy, Sharon, and I were driving around farmy-Fennville during our girl's weekend when something glorious happened. As we were heading past a Methodist church on a lonely corner, four little people were waving us in with frantic joy. Jen turned into the lot and asked, "what are we pulling over for?" and the response flew out of all four grinning mouths simultaniously in a way that suggested we should have already known... "A TALENT SHOW!"

Now, coming from a deep history of talent-show-fever, Jen felt absolutely compelled and excited and filled with supportive talent-show-nurturing, so she pulled right in and parked.

We were then treated with the Greatest Show on Earth going on at that moment. If you were not there, then you missed God godding all over that churchyard. First, Jujuan gathered his crew into a huddle to go over the plan. There were orders given and ideas changing furiously and then, wow, Jujuan flipped and flew frontwards and backwards over bicycles and bodies that formed sloppy-cute pyramids. There were clumsy cartwheels and the proudest smiles on diverse and dirty faces. What a show! Jen took down their names with the hopes of employing them all someday at our dream farm. They would have signed contracts if she had them.

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When I offered a small collection of cash to Jujuan, I learned something about ego. Jujuan was hurt by the offer. He said they were not trying to get money, they just wanted to show us what they could do. I made an assumption that subtracted something from their innocent pride. I made it about us feeling good giving which stole from their good feeling of sharing. Sometimes it's really not about the money.