August 13, 2008 - The Four Agreements

Today I received The Four Agreements in the mail. It is a gem! Mary-Tina recommended it and I called to thank her. She teased me about earning a Doctorate in Spiritual Mysticism. I feel like an infant in my practicing. I will be impeccable with my word. I will not take anything personally. I will not make assumptions. I will always do my best. This will change everything. We are made of light.

Tomorrow I meet Dana Frazier (Comiskey?) @ Barnes and Nobles. I spent time getting my classroom ready, and now I wait at Cilantros for Marcia Garcia. By the way, Dana is my new student teacher who was sent my way via Todd DeStigter who I hope to spend time laughing with again.

Dana Marie Comiskey-Best Student Teacher Sister Friend Nutjob Joy ever.

The Board meeting will be a great opportunity for me to practice the Four Agreements. I've never been able to remain happy and present throughout one. I get all toxic inside my guts everytime I put myself at one of those meetings. If I can keep my joy there, then Mary-Tina may have a point. We'll see. It is crazy goodness how all things, all energy, seems to be working with me to find that light; the light I always knew was within me, and turn it on, again and again, until it gets stuck forever in the on position.
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To demonstrate my struggle in my own unfolding, it is four years since I wrote this entry, and I am still full of darkness and anger at Board meetings. I still take it personal when one of those misinformed, non-educators says something terrible about teachers. I still wish for terrible things to happen to a certain community member because of the way she spreads and perpetuates racism, teacher-hatred, and misplaced cliches. I still assume the majority of our Board thinks the worst of us, and although I may often try to do my best while in the same room with many of those people, that's not saying much because my best looks ugly when I am full of that cancer.  The only success I've experienced is when I read bird magazines or doodle or send silly texts to friends...which is clearly avoidance and not very present. If there is anyone who has some teachings in this direction...I would LOVE some insight!

August 7, 2008 - The Douglas Social

After a Pontoon cruise with the fam, and then a long church-walk from our rental in Douglas to downtown Saugatuck and back, Jen and I walk to the park to check out the Douglas Social. The band is bluesy and right now they sound like a groovey train. The new spot in the shade we found is cool and delicious. The breeze is sweet and constant on my slightly sunburnt arms and face. This is old school goodness, all these people enjoying a reason to gather, and it is proof that we are not as seperate as we imagine.

In the Vintage Splendor (the name of this year's family reunion rental), me, Bob, Jen, and Joe are sharing a huge bedroom that reminds me of younger us. Jen and I have been sitting up at night talking like we did when we shared a room as teenagers. I remember how much those talks filled me and refilled me. Growing up together has been a gift that I've too often taken for granted. Today I know better. No one, more than Jen, shows me what it looks like to choose joy...over and over and over...and it is beautiful.