Anyone who's ever taught in a public school just felt a tinge of anxiety when reading this title. I apologize for that right off the bat, but this is where it all began for me...my ongoing journey to choose, seek, find, and revel in J-O-Y joy.
It is about ten years ago, and I am standing in line at the copy machine on a pretty typical morning of rushing and planning and key-forgetting and going over the day's lesson in my mind and last minute photocopying. There are three or four teachers ahead of me, and I probably have 30 minutes before I have to be in class in front of young people. This often causes one to do a kind of I-gotta-go-to-the-bathroom dance behind one's colleagues. I was definitely dancing. The machine kept getting clogged, and each teacher in front of me puzzled over how to unclog it WAAAAYYYY to slowly as the clock was tocking (it never ticks during these times) away...
I am a pretty new teacher...two or three years new...proud of my calling...loving my job...usually smiling on top of self-doubt and intense stress. I try to hold my smile as I become more and more frustrated each time I hear the tell-tale silence of another jam. By the time I'm second in line, there is no smile-cover left. I'm down to 15 minutes and now doing everything I can not to make grunting noises and roll my eyes obnoxiously at the teacher who struggles at the machine I am waiting for. I hate this me.
Without being conscious of it, I was choosing to be what I hate.
The whole time, the beautiful teacher behind me is humming sweetly. I don't even realize it until it's my turn, and I know I'm going to make it. As soon as I notice it, her humming fills me with peace and fascination. I ask her, "How do you stay so calm and happy during this chaos?" She went all teeth and responded, "Honey, there is not much in this life a person can control, but joy is one of them, and I'm keeping mine."
These words...well, you already know, don't you?
